Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Am I Awake?

I don't have too much to say, because as much as I work to believe in karma, I think I also believe in jinxes, but the truth is that lately I'm feeling hopeful.  And for me, that's a big step.  Sure, most of my friends think I'm an optimist, but deep deep down, I often don't expect things to work out. However, I've been doing an awful lot of reading lately.  I've been reading about religion especially, particularly Buddhism, although I'm not sure I'd consider it a "religion" in the way most westerners define religion.  If I believed in signs I'd cite the following ways in which I'm becoming a bit more "awakened," the goal of all buddhists.
1.  This blog.  Why am I so fascinated with karma?
2.  My age.  Did you know it wasn't until the age of 29 that Siddhartha Gautama became "Buddha" that we recognize today? 
3.  My dreams.  I'm dreaming more of a groups of supportive people in my life rather than the disasters that will come or have affected me over the last few years.
4.  At least a few times a day I'm able to stop and say, "Well, that's what life is like today.  It might be good or bad, but I am certain that this moment is fleeting.  It will change.  Life will not be exactly what I expect to be nor should it.  And for at least this small moment I'm okay with letting go of what I think I should have/want/do with my life."
5.  I realize that tomorrow none of this may be true.  It might be an awful day.  But this too will pass.
6.  Nothing great has happened, and yet I still feel like something great (something great as in large and momentous) is happening!

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