Not That Kind of Intern

And so the first year of law school is rapidly coming to an end.  One more week of classes and then final exams.  Please please keep me in your thoughts for the next few weeks.  What happens in these exams will ultimately determine whether I choose to remain in law school.  Financially, good grades will make all the difference.

On a more interesting note, I had my first day of my internship this weekend with a professional baseball team which shall not be named :)  Of course, if you want to know, just ask, but I don't want to blab their name all over my blog and be "found out."  Oh, didn't I mention I'd be staring at baseball players all summer?  Ahem!  That's right.  If I accomplished nothing else this year, I stalked a professional baseball team long enough for them to give me an internship.

This Saturday was an open house for the team where season ticket holders were able to pick up their tickets, the community could see the field, etc.  There was popcorn, national anthem tryouts, silly string, and inflatable games.  And yet...  it was nowhere near as much fun as it sounds!  It was freezing, raining, full of people who smelled, and those national anthem singers??  Four hours straight of phlegm, croaking, and squealing.  Help me!  I hope I have better news to report about my internship experience soon!

Keep your fingers crossed for me, and oh....I have some big news about poetry I hope to post soon.  Stay tuned!!!

Poetry Readings Make Me Sad

Tonight I went to a wonderful poetry reading hosted by Cave Canem and House of Asylum in Pittsburgh's Northside with new friends I met through attending Colrain.  Carl Phillips, Colleen McElroy, Claudia Rankine, and Sapphire read under a tent in the Mexican War Streets neighborhood. Beautiful weather, great people, and an all-around great atmosphere.  Lately though, poetry has made me sad.  So many poems are about love (or at least lust), and listening to these poets tonight made me downright lonely. I am meeting new people, getting out, etc., but still there's something lacking.  I'm just not that girl who likes to come home to an empty house.  Thank goodness for pets.  Mom points out at every opportunity that my pets are a reason someone "wouldn't" want to be with me, but let me tell you, feeding Sterling catnip at eleven o'clock at night straight from the garden and watching him attack the dog that's ten times his size is a darn good end to my evening.

Degrees of Separation

If you're interested in purchasing my new chapbook, Degrees of Separation, for ten dollars, please contact me, and I'll be happy to send off a signed first edition right away!

I Promise I'll Do Better

The quick recap?  I know, I haven't been on the blog at all lately.  I'll give you the short version, and then I promise I'll be better.
1.  I went to a poetry reading in Pittsburgh.  I ended up at a bar with my former professor.  Strange strange.  Very very strange.
2.  I will be reading at the Polish Hill Arts Festival this July 19th at 2 p.m.  I hope my chapbook's done by then!
3.  The garden is planted, I've sent a million poetry submissions, and I'm settling in to teaching online and catching up.
And finally, I want to know.  How old is too old?  For dating that is.  My next possibility for a "match" is a man 16 years older than me.  A very successful, drives a Porsche, has Pens season tickets three rows from the ice 16 years oldern than me.  Can I really go out with this guy?

Goals are Just Like Another "To Do" List

Don't get me wrong. I like "to do" lists.  However, there's a certain amount of guilt that comes along with making a list and NOT accomplishing everything on it.  So, part of me wants to let myself relax a little and enjoy the next few weeks without sheer panic of "how am I going to pay for law school??" and "what the heck am I going to do for a job???"  But let's be real.  I overanalyze.  I'm a workaholic.  I need lists.  I give you my summer Goal/To Do list.  But here's the caveat.  If I don't accomplish these things, I'm letting myself off the hook.  These things would all be "nice" to do, but they aren't entirely necessary.  By the way, V and Carly inspired this exercise with their lists....

1.  Eat better.  I try to do this, but I often fail when living alone because cooking for myself is sad.  Right now I'm trying the "eat five times a day" smaller meals thing.  I'm also trying to up protein in my diet.  I'll keep you updated.  Tonight for dinner I had whole wheat pasta with broccoli, edamame, and walnuts.  Go me!

2.  Run in a sports bra.  That's right, just a sports bra (and shorts of course). Hey, I'm not getting any younger.  And the fact is that I'm in pretty darn good shape right now.  I work out six or seven days a week.  I have something resembling abs.  And I see those crazy Slippery Rock runners all over town in a sports bra.  Maybe I won't do this in Mt. Oliver, but I will do it!

3.  Read more.  Like, you know, things I actually enjoy!

4.  Get out more, drink more, be social.  I'm not doing too badly at this.  (Laura, you need to help me here!)

5.  Prepare for law school.  I've bought a few books, downloaded a few classes, etc.

6.  Ride horses.

7.  Run a few road races.

8.  Send out the best possible book manuscript I can.  By the way, I realized a few days ago in my wallowing that if Mo and I hadn't split (thank goodness we did of course) that I likely never would have gone to Colrain to get my manuscript revised, never have published a chapbook, never have met some new friends, etc.  So, here's to all the other good things that will soon happen because of our parting ways!

Catching Up

The last few weeks have been a bit of a blur, so let me just give you the highlights. 

I really decided I needed to get away, so I jumped in my parents' car (better gas mileage) and headed to Colrain, Massachusetts for a poetry manuscript conference, where I met some fantastic people and new friends! The pictures here are from that trip and the amazing "Round House" we stayed in. The great news here is that when I returned home, I sent out a chapbook manuscript, which will be published in the next few months from Pudding House Press.  Also, I got a new job with American Intercontinental University (online) and interviewed at Strayer University as well.  That's the good news.

The bad news is that it's just been a tough few weeks emotionally. Mo and I were supposed to get married this week.  I found a card in my nightstand saying how we'd spend the rest of our lives together from him, and it just made me mad at the ability we humans have to fool ourselves.  My parents are leaving for St. Martin (where we were supposed to enjoy our honeymoon) on Saturday, so I'll be pretty alone here.

Also, I had to clean out my office from my last job.  It was strange without anyone even saying goodbye.  I've never really left a place of work except to move on to something better.  Right now I'm working my butt off doing miscellaneous jobs, but no health insurance, I still know very few people in this city, and only more debt (law school) to look forward to.  It's not exactly where I'd like to be, but I suppose at least I'm on a road to somewhere.

I Want that T-Shirt!

Ok, I can be an impulse buyer sometimes. Not usually with huge purchases...but the small things stick in my head. Here's what I want today: On How I Met Your Mother last night Ted was wearing a t-shirt for the White Horse Saloon. I noticed it, and tried to look it up online. I hope I'm not the only one who has discovered at some point in her life that there's some obvious thing you should have known about but were somehow woefully unaware. Dylan Thomas drank himself to death (as legend has it) at the White Horse Saloon?! How did I not know this. Sure, I know City Lights. I know Haight-Ashbury. I even know Frank O'Hara died in a dune buggy accident. How in the world did I miss the White Horse Saloon in getting a PhD in poetry for goodness sake! Anyway, if you know where I can find this t-shirt, please let me know!

Help! I Have an Addiction

Drugs? Alcohol? Bad boyfriends? Nope. I have an addiction to school. I always joked that when I was done with my PhD there was nothing left but law school, and believe it or not, I finished two law school applications today. Am I crazy? Here are my pros and cons. Where do you weigh in?

Pros to going to law school:

- it's something I've always planned on doing

- meet a new group of people

- get to make a difference vs. teaching students semicolons for the rest of my life

- I think I'd be good at it

- I could still go back to teaching (law)

- it's impossible to get a job teaching poetry right now and my book just isn't getting published

Cons to going to law school:

- more debt

- time involved in another degree

- what if this isn't what I want to do either?

- neglecting poetry and teaching

Anyway, I applied to Duquesne and Pitt. I don't really want to leave the city since I own a house and my family/horses etc. are here. Duquesne's easier to get into, but it would be a huge investment in money! Any thoughts and advice would be appreciated.

P.S. On the topic of addiction, I deactivated my facebook account today. Do I really need to keep searching Mo's picture and his friends? Do I really care what my high school classmate is doing? The truth is that it's fun, but I want to live in the now! I want to get out and meet new people and not hang onto people from my past that I'll likely never see again. So, if you've found your way here, you're probably someone I care about keeping around. Help me stay away from facebook!