My brain is full. I mean full to the point of losing important skills like walking and talking out the back door. Why haven't I blogged in the last few months? The easy answer: law school. The funnier answer: my brain was so full that I forgot my login and didn't have two free minutes to go through the process of recovering it.
I've taken two law school exams so far, and I have three more to go. I've also finished my legal research and writing paper. As I was sitting waiting for my 25 page of ridiculousness Property exam to start, I had this crazy thought. What in the world am I doing? Last year at this time I was giving my own final. I was baking Christmas cookies and shopping. Sure, I was busy... but now I literally live law. The law school is open 24 hours these two weeks, they feed us pizza, baked goods, and candy to keep us in sugar shock and from revolting at all times, and I'm falling asleep at night with my head literally in a textbook. What in the world am I doing? At the same time, yesterday evening I was in downtown Pittsburgh in Market Square with the beautiful lights, the limos, and the expensive restaurants, and there was Reed Smith (one of the biggest law firms in the 'burgh) overlooking my life as I'd like it to be.
It's amazing how far expectations can fall in a semester. I started out wanting to be in the top ten. Now, I want to survive. And everyone keeps saying, "Oh you'll do fine. You always say it's hard." Why won't anyone listen? This isn't hard. It's freakin impossible and based on luck! A whole semester of hard work comes down to one three hour exam. Did I mention I'm not a good test taker?
Do you know the best thing that happened to me all semester? On my practice exam I got a "nice paper" comment. Honestly, that's the nicest two words (or only nice words) I've heard all semester. It's mostly, "Wrong," "No," "Absolutely not," "Bad law student....BAD!"
What have I learned this semester? Humility? New stress management techniques? The best caffeine for the least calories at Starbucks? Most of all, I've learned how to be wrong every single day, and yet still keep coming back for more.