Vacation? What Vacation?

One of the things that I've constantly read in the books about preparing for law school is that I should be relaxing this summer to prepare for the chaos of the fall semester.  Relax?  I think I've mentioned before that I don't know how to do that. 

Right now I'm teaching two classes online, going through orientation for a new teaching job online, tutoring online, riding horses, reading law school prep books, and....redecorating!

For some reason this week I just decided that I hate everything in my house.  Well, not everything.  But I need a change.  Honestly, I think it's a delayed reaction and reclaiming of my space.  When I moved to Pittsburgh it was great.  I had no memories here, nothing reminded me of the jerk I left in Florida, and I could start new.  Now the problem is that everything here reminds me of Mo.  Last Fourth of July we went to Altoona on the train.  It was an amazing trip when we did absolutely nothing and had a great time.  We planned to take a trip on the train each year.  This year was going to be to a place that began with the letter "B."  We'd work our way through the alphabet from A to Z.  Like my friend Carly asked...where does the good go? That was a truly good day.  Or was it?  There were so many underlying insecurities and lies on that day that what I was living wasn't even true in a way.

Well, I'll tell you what's true today: new lamps, new pillows, new bookcases, new decorations in the bathroom, new teapots, new plants, new pictures, and a wonderful new color in my third bedroom.  If you've never been to my house you won't know this, but my third bedroom is a tiny space that I've turned into a sort of walk-in closet. I've painted it dark red today, hung chandeliers, put in new drapes and mirrors, and gosh darn it, it's awesome!  You should come visit my new life.

Poetry Readings Make Me Sad

Tonight I went to a wonderful poetry reading hosted by Cave Canem and House of Asylum in Pittsburgh's Northside with new friends I met through attending Colrain.  Carl Phillips, Colleen McElroy, Claudia Rankine, and Sapphire read under a tent in the Mexican War Streets neighborhood. Beautiful weather, great people, and an all-around great atmosphere.  Lately though, poetry has made me sad.  So many poems are about love (or at least lust), and listening to these poets tonight made me downright lonely. I am meeting new people, getting out, etc., but still there's something lacking.  I'm just not that girl who likes to come home to an empty house.  Thank goodness for pets.  Mom points out at every opportunity that my pets are a reason someone "wouldn't" want to be with me, but let me tell you, feeding Sterling catnip at eleven o'clock at night straight from the garden and watching him attack the dog that's ten times his size is a darn good end to my evening.

Burkina Faso

Did you ever learn something new, and then it seems you hear about it everywhere you go?  On Monday I went with a friend to see Burkina Electric, a band from Burkina Faso at the Thunderbird Cafe in Lawrenceville.  You should check out both the band and the venue.  Great night!  I don't know why I had never heard of Burkina Faso, but there's a city there named Kaya (like my dog!).  And on television this morning I heard a reference to it also.  It's just amazing how much I don't know!

I Promise I'll Do Better

The quick recap?  I know, I haven't been on the blog at all lately.  I'll give you the short version, and then I promise I'll be better.
1.  I went to a poetry reading in Pittsburgh.  I ended up at a bar with my former professor.  Strange strange.  Very very strange.
2.  I will be reading at the Polish Hill Arts Festival this July 19th at 2 p.m.  I hope my chapbook's done by then!
3.  The garden is planted, I've sent a million poetry submissions, and I'm settling in to teaching online and catching up.
And finally, I want to know.  How old is too old?  For dating that is.  My next possibility for a "match" is a man 16 years older than me.  A very successful, drives a Porsche, has Pens season tickets three rows from the ice 16 years oldern than me.  Can I really go out with this guy?

Somewhere in Pittsburgh...

the Stanley Cup is safe tonight.  How do I  know?  Well, for the last five hours it was (partially) my responsibility!

I have been looking for a perfect volunteer opportunity in Pittsburgh for a while.  In the past I've worked in animal shelters, reading programs, environmental programs....  but a few weeks ago I signed up to volunteer at the Heinz History Center, an amazing place including a sports museum in the 'burgh.  And wouldn't you know, the Stanley Cup along with 10 other trophies has been in the museum the last few days.

They needed volunteers to help watch the Cup, take pictures, etc. and if there's a more perfect volunteer opportunity in the world for me I can't imagine it!  How cool that I just spent the evening from seven until midnight hanging out with Penguins and hockey nuts talking and sharing Cup stories.

No, I don't have pictures.  But I don't care.  Standing next to the Hart Trophy and the Lady Byng was so worth it.  The Prince of Wales trophy was outstanding!  And at the end of the night they rushed the Cup off to some "safe" place for hockey fans to enjoy another day.

Bad Karma?

Did you ever open your mouth only to find out shortly after that you've sent something terrible into the world.  Seems like even when I mean well, I'm digging myself into a karmic black hole.  My last post was about how much I love living in Pittsburgh and how I'm supposed to be here.  No sooner did I think that thought than karma struck me down.  I know it's bad to put too much information on the internet, so I will stop here and say that if you're a friend and not just a passerby to my blog please send me an email or give me a call, and I'd be glad to fill you in on the latest Mo saga.  I could use a friendly voice or just someone to chat anyway! 

Cloudy with a Chance of Penguins

Ahhh Pittsburgh. I do love it here. It was the most beautiful day today. I rode horses, and it was the perfect temperature with no bugs and no humidity. Yesterday I went to the hockey game and then out to dinner with my mom after. As we walked out of the restaurant, there was Max Talbot hanging out on the South Side. I love that we sit next to Jeff Reed at Steelers games and laugh at his t-shirts. This week his shirt said: "Not you, the pretty one." What an idiot, and I say that with the most endearing sarcasm I can manage. I sat on the Parkway for three hours today, but I love it here! This is one think I'm thankful for; this city is definitely where I'm meant to be for now. And I better be thankful today because for the next ten days it's rain, clouds, and showers. Yippee!

30 Seconds of Fame

Well, if you get a chance to watch the Ch. 11 News in Pittsburgh tonight, you might see my terrified face! I ventured out into Snowmageddon today because I had to get gas for work tomorrow, and I actually fooled myself into thinking I'd get near a grocery store. No luck on the groceries, but the news did catch me while I was pumping gas at GetGo. That was an interesting experience!
http://www.wpxi.com/video/22503886/?taf=burg

Help! I Have an Addiction

Drugs? Alcohol? Bad boyfriends? Nope. I have an addiction to school. I always joked that when I was done with my PhD there was nothing left but law school, and believe it or not, I finished two law school applications today. Am I crazy? Here are my pros and cons. Where do you weigh in?

Pros to going to law school:

- it's something I've always planned on doing

- meet a new group of people

- get to make a difference vs. teaching students semicolons for the rest of my life

- I think I'd be good at it

- I could still go back to teaching (law)

- it's impossible to get a job teaching poetry right now and my book just isn't getting published

Cons to going to law school:

- more debt

- time involved in another degree

- what if this isn't what I want to do either?

- neglecting poetry and teaching

Anyway, I applied to Duquesne and Pitt. I don't really want to leave the city since I own a house and my family/horses etc. are here. Duquesne's easier to get into, but it would be a huge investment in money! Any thoughts and advice would be appreciated.

P.S. On the topic of addiction, I deactivated my facebook account today. Do I really need to keep searching Mo's picture and his friends? Do I really care what my high school classmate is doing? The truth is that it's fun, but I want to live in the now! I want to get out and meet new people and not hang onto people from my past that I'll likely never see again. So, if you've found your way here, you're probably someone I care about keeping around. Help me stay away from facebook!

Snowed In

The one thing I don't want to do is be stuck in the house. Guess what? It's a freakin' state of emergency. No cars allowed out. Of course, I can't even reach my Jeep to get out if I wanted to. The darn dog refuses to pee because she gets lost in the drifts. How's everyone else doing with this weather?

I'm Painting My Nails Red Because I Can

What did I do today? Honestly, I just tried to get through the day. And I was doing pretty darn good until I found out that Mo (see earlier posts) had contacted my friend online to ask how I was doing. This initially threw me for a loop. He cared! He cared! Ah... but that would make too much sense. Turns out, it's just that he was making himself look like the good guy. You know, "I wasn't the one who gave up," and "She's the one being crazy" kind of stuff. It's very simple buddy. One week ago you loved me and wanted to marry me. Today you "care" not love me, and not once did you ever face me to tell me that you might not want to get married. Ok, now that I've got that out. Not only that. You also put my sweet friend in the awkward position of having to call me and tell me that you had contacted her. Let me just count the ways I hate you a bit more each day.

The most exciting part of the day was absolutely, Snowmageddon! It has snowed at least 6-8 inches since this afternoon here in Pittsburgh. And it's that wonderful thick like cookie dough snow that gets in your socks and freezes your ankles on the way to the mailbox. In fact, the blue sparks shooting from the transformers on my street seem to indicate that I may not have power for much longer. So, while I wait for the end, I'm blogging and painting my nails an obnoxious shade of red (just because Mo always liked them unpainted).

Anyone have any tips for self portraits? I got a digital SLR for Christmas, and I'm in serious need of some shots for various projects, but I did try to take some pics this evening, and didn't have much luck. Any of these decent enough?